If You Can't Take It, (Then) Don't Dish It Out: Definition, Meaning, and Origin

Last Updated on
July 25, 2023

The saying "if you can't take it, don't dish it out" is a warning to those who are quick to criticize others without being able to handle criticism themselves. It suggests that if you are not able to handle negative feedback, you should not be giving it to others. In other words, it's a reminder to be mindful of how you treat others and to treat them with the same respect you would like to receive.

In short:

  • "If you can't take it, don't dish it out" is a call for fairness in the exchange of criticism or negative actions.
  • It warns against behaving in a way that one cannot handle when faced with the same behavior.

What Does "If You Can't Take It, (Then) Don't Dish It Out" Mean?

This punchy phrase speaks volumes about accountability and responsibility in our actions. When someone says, "If you can't take it, then don't dish it out," it suggests that one should refrain from acting in ways that they themselves would find intolerable if they were on the receiving end.

Let's delve deeper into its meanings and contexts:

  • The phrase typically means that if a person is unable to accept criticism or negative treatment, they should avoid criticizing or negatively treating others.
  • "Dish it out" is an idiomatic way of referring to the act of giving or dispensing something, often negative.
  • "Take it" refers to the act of receiving or enduring something, again often negative.
  • It's often used in scenarios where people criticize or belittle others but are quick to take offense when they find themselves in the same position.
  • Phrases that carry similar connotations include "What goes around comes around," "You reap what you sow," and "Treat others as you wish to be treated."

Where Does "If You Can't Take It, (Then) Don't Dish It Out" Come From?

The phrase "if you can't take it, then don't dish it out" is a modern adage that doesn't seem to have a single, specific origin. However, it embodies the universal principle of reciprocity, which can be traced back to ancient times and is present in many cultures and religious teachings. Today, it serves as a reminder that we should treat others how we would like to be treated.

Historical Example

"After hearing a cookhouse operator beef about the poor food served in a restaurant on Sunday a ride boy cracked.'If you can't take it, don't dish it out.'"

- The Billboard, June 1942

10 Examples of "If You Can't Take It, (Then) Don't Dish It Out" in Sentences

To help you get a better handle on how and when this phrase is used, let's see it in action in a variety of contexts:

  • She's always making fun of everyone else, but when someone teases her, she gets upset. It's a classic case: if you can't take it, don't dish it out.
  • Joining an online group, I learned the hard way that if you can't take it, don't dish it out.
  • My friend was always gossiping about others, and when the tables turned, she was really upset. It made me think, if you can't take it, then don't dish it out.
  • Here's a pro tip for maintaining peace: "if you can't take it, don't dish it out."
  • My brother loves to play lame jokes and pranks but can't handle being pranked himself. I always tell him that if you can't take it, don't dish it out.
  • Life taught me an important lesson: "if you can't take it, don't dish it out."
  • You said, "if you can't take it, don't dish it out," and I feel you on that.
  • My words to live by have always been: "if you can't take it, don't dish it out."
  • It's clear that he likes to tease others, but he can't handle it when he's the butt of the joke. It's a perfect case of if you can't take it, then don't dish it out.
  • Setting a precedent, she instilled the principle, "if you can't take it, don't dish it out."

Examples of "If You Can't Take It, (Then) Don't Dish It Out" in Pop Culture

While the exact phrase "if you can't take it, then don't dish it out" might not be common in pop culture, the principle it represents is frequently depicted in various forms of media, often embodied by characters who are quick to criticize or mock others but sensitive to receiving the same treatment.

Let's check out some instances:

  • In the book "Streetball is Life" by Paul Volponi, the phrase is used: "If you can't take it, don't dish it out. That's the first rule of trash talk."
  • The phrase is also found in the song "You Can Dish It Out (But Can You Take It)" by Kathy Davis.
  • In a tweet by Dara Ó Briain, he responds to a user with the phrase: "You are. Wailing about being mocked with a snide response. If you can't take it, don't dish it out."
  • In an article titled "Being kicked by a fan was not Aaron Ramsdale’s own fault, despite what Richard Keys says" on 3 Added Minutes, the phrase is used in the context of discussing an incident where a fan physically attacked a football player. The article states: "If you can't take it, don’t dish it out, and if such trivial gestures are enough to rile a 35-year-old man to the point of ferity, then the issue doesn’t lie with Ramsdale, but rather a petty idiot who needs to do some serious growing up."

Other/Different Ways to Say "If You Can't Take It, (Then) Don't Dish It Out"

There are several other phrases and proverbs that convey a similar message to "if you can't take it, then don't dish it out."

Here are a few:

  • What goes around comes around
  • You reap what you sow
  • Treat others as you wish to be treated
  • Don't dish out what you can't take
  • If you can't handle the heat, stay out of the kitchen
  • If you can't swallow it, don't spit it out
  • If you can't accept criticism, don't criticize others
  • Give and take

10 Frequently Asked Questions About "If You Can't Take It, Then Don't Dish It Out":

  • What does "if you can't take it, then don't dish it out" mean?

"If you can't take it, then don't dish it out" is a common saying suggesting that one should not criticize or antagonize others if they are not prepared or capable of receiving the same treatment in return.

  • How can I use "if you can't take it, then don't dish it out" in a sentence?

You can use this phrase to admonish someone who is being hypocritical or sensitive to criticism they are quick to dole out. For example, "Mark's gag gift wasn't funny or appropriate, so I said to him, 'If you can't take it, don't dish it out.'"

  • What is the origin of "if you can't take it, then don't dish it out"?

The exact origin of this phrase is unknown, but it is thought to have its roots in English-speaking cultures and has been a common part of vernacular speech for many years.

  • Is "if you can't take it, then don't dish it out" a universal saying?

While the exact phrasing may not be universal, the sentiment behind it – not to do unto others what you can't handle being done to you – is a common concept in many cultures.

  • Can "if you can't take it, then don't dish it out" be used in a professional setting?

Yes, it can be used in a professional setting to convey the idea of fairness and respectful communication, although it may need to be delivered in a tactful manner.

  • What is the difference between "if you can't take it, then don't dish it out" and "what goes around, comes around"?

While both phrases convey the concept of karma, "if you can't take it, then don't dish it out" is more about not criticizing others if you can't handle criticism yourself, whereas "what goes around, comes around" suggests that the actions you put out into the world will eventually come back to you in some way.

  • Is "if you can't take it, then don't dish it out" applicable to physical actions or only verbal exchanges?

While it can apply to physical actions, the phrase is most commonly used in the context of verbal exchanges, such as criticism or teasing.

  • Can "if you can't take it, then don't dish it out" be considered a form of a life lesson?

Yes, it could be considered a life lesson, teaching that it is important to treat others how you want to be treated, and to not deliver what you cannot handle in return.

  • Does "if you can't take it, then don't dish it out" imply a form of retaliation?

The phrase does not directly imply retaliation, but it does suggest that if someone is critical or unkind to others, they should be prepared to receive the same treatment in return.

  • Does "if you can't take it, then don't dish it out" promote the idea of silence or acceptance?

Not necessarily. It is more about promoting fair treatment and understanding the potential consequences of one's actions.

Final Thoughts About "If You Can't Take It, Then Don't Dish It Out"

"If you can't take it, then don't dish it out" is a saying that encourages fairness and empathy. It's a reminder to think before we act, especially when our actions could impact others negatively. It's important to consider this phrase in our daily interactions and remember the golden rule: Treat others as you would like to be treated.

Here's a quick recap:

  • The idiom is a caution against hypocrisy and the inability to handle criticism or negativity that one is quick to inflict on others.
  • It encourages fairness and understanding of our actions' potential consequences.
  • It's a reminder that we should be prepared to accept the same treatment that we give to others.

So, before you "dish it out," think about how you would feel if you were on the receiving end. If you can't handle it, perhaps it's better not to dish it out at all.

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